"Speaking of interesting events, guess who I met today..."
After two pitchers of Troegs Perpetual Joe stared back at me with an uncomprehending gaze that carried with it the faintest trace of boredom. Pearl Jam, 'Alive' played amidst the barroom chatter of football talk. Joe had spent the last five minutes singing off-key in an embarrassing display that made everyone at the table uncomfortable."I saw /amd".
His gaze narrowed and the dull stare fled from his face, he immediately snapped out of his drunken stupor as his eyes focused into a full comprehension. The story of /amd and I was one that Joe was intermingled in and one that carried feelings of bitterness and slight resentment between the two of us. There was a second part to the conversation I had posted earlier
that Joe would spill during a night of drunken confession. "[ObLiViOn], when you were asking me about /amd I spoke to Allen again and he said that /amd wanted you so bad, that she wanted you to make a move on her and was waiting for you to do something. I had this knowledge in my head and I thought for a moment I was God, playing with your life and questioned if I should give you this knowledge or just let you figure it out on your own. I didn't feel right playing God so I never told you that, but man she wanted you so bad. She wanted you to give her the..."
his voice trailed off as he began making obscene gestures with his hands. Having gone to Joe for advice about /amd, and having him blatantly withhold such information left a bitter taste to say the least. To be honest, I’ve never forgiven him for that, but then again men are to figure out their own relationships - not rely on the drunken advice of friends. Now, here we were in the same bar, same topic, x months later.
Fast forward to today, I'm watching him sit across from me with mouth agape, I begin the story: "It was interesting, I was coming down the stars at work when I flung open the door to see a very attractive female. Not having my glasses, I didn't recognize who it was so I said 'hello' only to realize it was her. I think it happened so quickly that neither of us really knew what to make of it. She looked frazzled and mentioned she was looking for a guy from security, and by chance, I had met with that same guy the day before so I offered to walk her down to the office. I kept it very professional, as I didn’t want to get into personal matters so I walked her to the office and said goodbye."
I left out the part about all the emotion that came rushing back from running into an ex-girlfriend. In that moment, standing in the hall she had taken on the persona that I remembered from early on in the relationship - the one that carried all the allure of someone new and mysterious and filled with endless possibility. At that moment she remained the girl that wasn't filled with blemishes and faults, but the girl you naively fill with your subconscious hopes and desires.
Joe sat back comprehending my words for a moment, his thoughts and mannerisms teetering between that of a wise advisor and barroom drunk. For a brief moment, I thought he was going to add a significant insight into the conversation, but the alcohol took over and he dove headfirst into all out drunk, "Did...did you tell her you want to bang her double-d breasttsts...[ObLiVioN], you could have taken her up to my cube and had sex with her - I would have left"
. He began laughing hysterically at the premise then continued on, shouting "Yo Joe! Get out of your office I need it to bang /amd!"
His hysterical laughter gave way into a swaying motion that had him balancing on the edges of the barstool. Few people could get as drunk as Joe could on a Thursday Night at 6:00pm. Trying to carry on a serious conversation, I ignored him and allowed his wife, "G" to interject in the conversation.
G, much more sober and contained, continued on "What was she doing in your building? Isn't that strange that you would run into her?"
In my foolishness, or haste, or desire to see divine intervention I began to dissect all the events that led to our meeting, "It's really strange that we would meet at that moment"
, I beckoned, "I mean, I was on my way back from the bathroom and there were two bathrooms that were broken that forced me to use a third...which lead me to where she was. In addition, what are the chances of her making a wrong turn down a hallway only to arrive at the exact moment when I'm walking down the stairs. Also don't forget the fact that I met with the same guy she was looking for only a day before so I was able to help her and walk her directly to his office."
As with many things in life, I continued to analyze the seemingly independent stream of facts to determine if it was all just a coincidence or if there was some divine plan that countered statistical reasoning.
G agreed that it was the working of Providence, and blurted out "You should text her"
. Joe, in typical fashion followed up her comment with an offhand remark "Dude, you should just tell her that you want her [expletive] [expletive] [expletive]..."
the expletives began blending together against the backdrop of his hysterical laughter."I have been thinking about texting her, but after the breakup she unfriended me on Facebook and I'm not really sure what to think of it"
, my deepest unvoiced concern was having to run into her on a daily basis after a failed relationship. I'm fairly certain that fear ruined the relationship as it kept me from ever taking chances with her - for fear of making a monumental mistake and having to be reminded of it at work and through mutual friends.
Taking into account the advice of G, and my own desire to see what would happen if I did text her, I sent her the following message shortly after lunch, "Hi! It was nice running into you yesterday. What made you trek into my building?"
The conversation started off in a very positive fashion as we had a nice exchange of pleasantries filled with "haha"
and the prized "hahaha"
. While I was surprised as to how well it went it was very much one sided - me pelting her with questions as she responded in brief. If I were texting any other girl I would think it to be awkward but /amd was a notoriously bad texter and this was standard procedure.
The conversation ultimately trailed off as I asked her to meet up with me for happy hour only to have her respond one-hour and forty minutes later with "Ohh sorry :( I just got done with my appointments"
. The answer was just vague enough to border between her blowing me off and simply being busy. I read through the message and suddenly remembered why the relationship came to a crushing defeat, /amd was the queen of hiding emotions and responding in vague terms that were so difficult to read and I, in my fear of screwing something up with someone I have to work with, didn't have the fortitude to take the risk or address the problem directly. That, among other things, led to the demise.
I responded back with "No Worries :) Sounds like a busy day"
to which the conversation halted - presumably never to start up again.